To understand the full majesty of this, you really need to see all three (to date) of STeVE's poats.
First, the one that prompted this thread:
Here is what I did last weekend. It made me laugh but it's not really ha-ha funny.
I took the 1987 stereo PEPPER CD and ran it through my Teletronix LA2a compressor at full tilt, re-recording it. Just smashed the crap out of the thing. Then, I played it for four friends, separately, not telling them what it was. They ALL enjoyed my squashed original mix more than the original stereo and the stereo remix and even the mono.
So, I can only conclude that people (even people who's ears I trust and respect) can not resist a good squashing! It's crazy..
While I believe that this is all fantasy bullshit on STeVE's part, we need to think about why he'd drop it on that thread.
For starters, STeVE has been butt-hurt for at least 25 years over the fact that he will NEVER BE ALLOWED NEAR A BEATLES MASTER TAPE. This is the crux of EVERY one of his "the Beatles sound like crap" passive-aggressive poats – going all the way back to the very beginning of SH.tv (but even more so now that STeVE slowly realizes he's just a dottering old fool who can only get to EQ consult on the scraps that Marsha throws his way every now and then).
And while there are a few minions who continue to clamor for a Hoffman-remasturbated set of Beatles albums, by and large, most SHites toally ignore poor old STeVE (and they have for years).
It all comes down to the fact that Apple Corps will
always have more sway with Beatard SHites than Hoofy ever will.
Go back to the remasters in 2009. They sold tons, but alas, STeVE wasn't involved. To save face, he conconcted his bullshit "nondisclosure agreement" nonsense, which seemed to cause more interest at the old SC.tv than it ever did over there.
Now, we've got the new Sgt. Pepper remix. It was all over the news – likely very lucrative for Apple – and yet STeVE was again regulated to "snot-nosed-kid-with-face-pressed-against-window" status.
STeVE's poat is actually quite pathetic when you realize it's just his feeble attempt to somehow appear relevant.
Now, let's look at the poat itself.
Of course, STeVE drops the brand name and model number of his better-than-you'll-ever-own compressor. And he played the results for FOUR (count 'em) friends. (Akin to name dropping the brand name and model, firmly establishing the exact number at four holds more sway than than the typical "a few" that mere mortals would likely use.)
Be sure to notice how STeVE played his efforts INDIVIDUALLY to four people. Yes, he went though this routine four separate times...(Sure he did...)
So, STeVE spend the entire weekend on some sort of audiophool practical joke and sprung it on four nameless friends individually? (What a trickster.)
The entire poat is as believable as that old nondisclosure agreement.
STeVE was able to generate a tiny bit of interest from a few of the Kool-Aid drinkers. One feeb even asked the master about the compressor. Of course, STeVE only deals with the best:
Actually there is. The Teletronix is the best sounding compressor ever made.
After this, the SHites by and large went back to their previous ridiculous discussions. But, I suppose Daddy's fever-dream experiment didn't generate enough interest for him to be satisfied with, so he decided to up the ante with this:
When I was a teenager I worked at the best rock station in LA, KMET, after school. Their chief engineer taught me the Teletronix Smush trick at that time. It was the best way (he said) to keep the level up and to have a natural sounding signal. Push everything into the LA2a and always have it working hard. It sounded pretty much undetectable when working, the only compressor with that natural a sound. Over at the AM side we had a cruel compressor that turned all music into virtual square waves. Dreadful beast.
At any rate, I remembered the old Teletronix Trick and how people seemed to like KMET's signal much more that rival KLOS (who used a ****ty CBS Volumax device that truly bit.) I thought if I ran SGT. PEPPER 1987 stereo CD through the LA2a that "expert" audiophiles would like it more than anything else and I was (sadly) right. They didn't seem to notice the complete lack of dynamic range! It was painfully obvious to me but what the hell do I know? It's a new (compressed) world.
A normal digital compressor runs over you like a steam roller and it hurts. The tube Teletronix LA2a runs over you like a steam roller and you love it, begging for more. "Hurts so good!"
Universal Audio still makes it. No idea how much but you need two for stereo. Looks pretty much like the old one...
This is the stuff! A whole smorgasbord of what makes a Hoffman poat so compelling!
– Amazing anecdote from STeVE awesome career in the biz (going back to his teens no less!)
– That word "best" again! Dutifully used to show that no run-of-the-mill radio station is good enough for our hero.
– Cutsie-pie words and phrases like "smush" and "hurts so good!"
– Mentioning someone who makes STeVE seem important – someone whom the SHites are supposed to respect (here, the nameless chief radio engineer who is imparting wisdom upon our young Grasshopper).
– Technical mumbo-jumbo that makes the SHites feel like they're getting some insider know-how.
– More brand-name-dropping and model-number referencing.
– Folksie jargon like "dreadful beast".
– Overall theme: old/analog/tubey=good • new/digital=bad
I really love coming across "perfect" Hoffman poats like this. While they do turn up fairly regularly, the best to look for them are in threads where STeVE feels he's being marginalized or where he wants to come off as "the man".
