A new thread for all of STeVE’s celebrity friends in one place. The first name drop shout out is to an actress on some new FBI show, a subject STeVE is familiar with.
Boy, these episodes are some of the best written I've seen in a long time. This is one of the best new shows on TV for me. I look forward to each new episode I don't do that very often. I sure hope they can keep it up.
I have not seen the show but it has Melissa "Missy" Peregrym in it, right? She is great and one of the nicest people in the biz..
How nice, STeVE? Did she say thank you when you held the door for her at Target one time?
Unless these are some of the really rare copies that have one of Juice's ***** hairs implanted between the plastic and silver layers. Of course those would cost a great deal more. I had the pleasure of gathering them myself.
My wife, Laura, absolutely hates Steve Hoffman and yet swears she has never met him or spoken to him.
Okay, here's the ugly story.
Last night, I was a little frisky. I like that word, "frisky". Yet it's not the type of frisky that scratching behind my ear is going to cure.
Earlier I had driven the Rudyfield Hills to pick up some Polk LS 90s that turned out to be in prefect sound quality condition. The guy sold his speakers because of a problem with his Denon receiver.
I got a super fantastic deal on some very nice sounding speakers so...I was extra frisky. Don't ask me how that happens. Obviously getting a great deal doesn't have the same effect on women or the guy that runs the Victoria Secret would be living swell during January clearance days.
Things started clicking. One daughter went out for a last minute planned sleepover. The other daughter was really tired and wanted to know if she could watch TV in the master bedroom. Sure! She'll be asleep in 15 minutes.
I'm thinking family room, fire place, LS 90s and as Ray said....whoopie!
Suddenly Laura emerges from the bathroom in her shower robe. Damn....everything is falling into place. She's always more receptive after a good hot shower.
I build a fire, dim the lights, run to my den for cds, ahhh...yes...soft music. Groove On 2! It's allllll gooooood!
And gooooooood it got! I was in the zone. Great woman, great sounds, great fire. I was headed straight for Whoopie Land. I was slowly pulling my wife's panties off when I quietly said, "Steve Hoffman remastered this disc."
Her body tensed. I was a bit bewildered but continued with my task. Suddenly I realized her panties weren't coming off as easy anymore. It was actually kind of amazing because she wasn't touching them. It's like some type of internal hydraulic air Pantie Brakes. I'm not sure how they work but a woman can defy gravity with her panties.
She said, "What did you say?"
(Houston, we have problem. We have a master, voice tone alarm! We're recommending bypassing the alarm and seeing if the system fails. There was no previous indication of trouble. Could be a false alarm. We're continuing with the mission.)
"Did you say, Steve Hoffman?"
(Houston, the ship is dying. We have Master Voice Tone alarms going off in all systems. The shimmy and shake we experienced earlier as stopped. That's not good. Houston, we've got to try something to get the ship back on course. We're recommending a new approach with some soft docking maneuvers.)
"I cannot believe you just said Steve Hoffman while we're making love!"
(Houston, she put her Shields up. We may have to abort.)
Now let's take a quick look at the thought "abort". Form a mission standpoint this is unacceptable. Too much preparation has gone into the planning of this mission. Life saving, medical experiments are in the mission plan. Damn it...we have Celais in the cargo bay!
Chuckle if you wish. But Celias is one of the greatest recreational drugs of all-time. Used responsibly (eventhough I lied to my doctor to get it) Celias is much like filling the gas tank with Premium Octane instead of regular no-lead for a special day of driving and performance. When you put the pedal to the metal you can't fathom the thought of sputtering or knocking. Top notch performance is a must.
This mission must continue.
"I'm sorry, sweetie...I merely mentioned how good the music sounds."
(For you younger guys, this is one of those times when you have to be very sincere and delicate with your apology for DOING NOTHING WRONG!)
"I cannot believe you mentioned Steve Hoffman while we're making love!"
Sure this looks pretty much like her previous statement but there's an EQ change there that puts it totally into a new preceptive. For those of you in the music business that depend so dearly on your intrigue hearing....it must be hell be married and living with those subtle yet powerful EQ changes that woman are capable of delivering. Some men can't pick those up. They don't know that if a women says, "Oh thanks wonderful", it can mean something is truly wonderful. Yet if she adjusts her internal sound board just a little bit...it can mean, "oh, that's disgusting, you sick macho *****".
"What's the big deal? Steve remastered the songs of this disc. They sound great. So what? I love you." (Pretty pathetic, huh? I played the "I love you" way too early.)
For you younger guys, using the line "I love you" at this point and in this situation is the equivalent of screaming, "May-day may-day may-day, we're going down, we're going down! May-day! May-day! May-day!
You'll never believe what her response was. It was,
"Did you say, Sooo what!?!?"
(Houston, the evil red star has trained it's super atomic, total destruction, laser weapon at us. We'll be dead in a second. Just wanted to say goodbye.)
Steve, what the hell did you do to my wife? Hey, I'm as liberal as the next guy and understand we all have our past. What's water under the bridge is water under the bridge. I don't hold no grudges but gee whiz...this is crazy!
I wish you'd apologize. And don't try that, "What's this thread about?" crap. If I go back to her and tell her you said you didn't know what she is talking about....it's only going to make it worse.
For my sanity, do it by email. I don't want to know.
I'm really disappointed that I've been posting here at your website so often and for so long and...you didn't mention you knew Laura.
She wears that little thing I like..
Look, Pal, they work great. They are for rich people though. If you've never heard them you can't have an opinion on the way they sound so yap up. -SH
You're not worshiping me per se, but what I STAND FOR: The best sounding music out there! -SH