The use of the word “dudes” is both interesting and telling.
May 30, 2023 17:18:50 GMT
Post by My Avatar Is A Hot Babe on May 30, 2023 17:18:50 GMT
Rosskolnikov said:
A little bit with you here. Maybe OK for her to post that if she doesn't preface it with "Dudes." Doing that makes it blatantly sexist, something that would be intensely criticized if it came from a man. We all know this to be true. If a man posted that and qualified it by saying "chicks," he'd be raked over the coals. Double-standards are not OK.I should say, though, that I really love Neko Case's music. She's really really good. Have most of it on vinyl.
mattright said:
Yeah - that post just seems like yet another variation of this whole 'mansplaining' meme -this time under a classic rock guise. The intention is to gaslight and then when people push back, she can step back in with another post and say 'See - I told you so...'.DrJ said:
For my part, I'm tired of hearing artists talk about what they are tired of hearing others talk about.#shutupandwriteadecentsongthenyouwon'thavetoattractattentionbydissingpeopleforenjoyingwhattheyenjoy
In all seriousness, what is on point about her comment? I personally don't often participate in Beatles discussions here, so it is not defensive to point out that if that IS what someone wants to do, what they enjoy talking about, then who is freakin' Neko Case to dismiss that? Really, why on earth would she even CARE about something so trivial? Talk about defensive...
Not to mention, is it even really true? Other than a few people on this tiny little music forum, there are in reality very likely very few people out there talking about the Beatles and Dylan, and probably way more talking about the artists of the current era. So it's not even really an issue, unless you are checking in at the SH Forums.
I'd also point out that if I as a man ever posted something about what I'm tired of hearing women (not "chicks," note - we're not "dudes" Neko, we're men) talk about, I'd be (appropriately) lambasted, so I'm not about to give a pass when the opposite happens. Horribly sexist, laden with biased assumption.
Hey Neko, here's a thought: why not do something positive and less intended to polarize our polarized world even more, and post some positive/praising comments about the artists YOU want to talk about and that you think OTHERS might want to hear talked about? I'd be interested, honestly, and might even enjoy it and learn something about those people, or about you/your music.
Enough of the negativity, especially over completely innocuous, harmless stuff. Sheesh
DrJ said:
And we care because? Seriously...tell us why you enjoy the music, say something useful/educational. I'm serious, despite the fact you were an ass to me when I posted what I thought, it's all good if you can contribute something that actually adds useful content to the forums, I'd love to learn more about Neko Case's music, why you enjoy it, all that.A bunch of LP covers from your collection, not quite there, but nice try.
DrJ said:
Ahem. You called me, a 58 year old man on an anonymous music forum who you do not know personally, "sweetie" because you disagreed with something I posted. That is creepy, and disrespectful, so you got it back. Nothing creepy about that, and exactly what you were going for, whether you admit it or not. The only person who calls me sweetie and gets away with it is my wife, and I'm pretty sure you're not her.Now you're no doubt gonna go run and hide in "creepy older man going after me" territory. Fine with me, I know what actually happened and it's visible to everyone else too. Don't call me "sweetie" and we have no problem...the proper thing to do would be to apologize, not make it about me.
DrJ said:
It was a joke. Should have plastered IT WAS A JOKE in there so you'd get it. Just to clarify.How is that these folks defending her post and criticizing those who disliked it by saying we are "defensive" are now leaping to defend the quality of her music? Defensive?
To be clear I have nothing against her music. Just the stupid thing she posted on Instagram.
DrJ said:
Sorry - the correct answer is that it is what it is - how the person receiving it takes it. By your logic, one could use a racial slur about someone but as long as you "didn't mean it that way," it'd be alright. This is microaggression 101. It doesn't MATTER how the person saying it meant it - it matters how it is received. The classy thing is for the person who has offended someone else to say hey, sorry I didn't intend it that way but I understand your feeling and I won't do it again.I said it before and I say it again - I'm a 58 year old man and I do not take kindly to some person on a music forum who I don't even know calling me "sweetie." And if I EVER did that in the reverse - called a young woman forum member "sweetie," even in jest, I'd get crucified, and appropriately so.
I don't have to explain or justify how I feel. I don't want to be called that. That's enough of a reason. For me. Move on.
Strat-Mangler said:
Sexism is OK only if it's against men on this board.DrJ said:
The next time someone posts something horribly sexist and presumptive about what "chicks" always talk about, remember that thinking and apply it to your own reactions.DrJ said:
Nobody's "masculinity is threatened." Some of us are calling out a sexist comment in a public forum. It is incredibly disingenuous for women to be leaping to defend this, through multiple gyrations about what she "really" meant, through giving us a dissertation on linguistic evolution over the recent centuries, etc etc. Men have been defending each others' bad behavior in similar ways for years. It was and is wrong for them to do that, and so too is it wrong for women to defend another woman's sexist comments that way.It was sexist. That's it. Why is this different than when you all are appropriately calling out male sexism? Would it be OK for a bunch of men to be jumping in saying "Aw, sweetie, this is priceless, your womanhood is threatened."
Answer - no, it wouldn't.
She's a human being. She's fallible. Whether one agrees or disagrees with the point she was making, it is fundamentally sexist.
DrJ said:
I honestly don't follow you. If you're saying why don't I reply to her on Instagram and say I thought her comments were sexist, no way on earth I'm doing that.What I'm saying is everyone defending what she said is, in my view, supporting sexism. It's wrong. What she said was wrong, in my view, as wrong as all the other things people have said over the years to justify their sexist, racist, homophobic, or other biased comments.
It's not my job to confront Neko Case about this. I would never have commented on it if it hadn't been shoved in my face here on the Forums. I guess that's hard for a lot of people to understand. Again, though, not my problem, their problem.
DrJ said:
Typically astute comment. I'm all broken up about it, so much so that I could hardly finish adding you to my ignore list.DrJ said:
Ok I guess then it's fine for me to say that I'm really tired of women talking about Taylor Swift?It isn't so much about the word "dudes" though I do find that also annoying - it is absolutely something she used intentionally - it's about the presumption of gender-based behavior and calling it into question like they "shouldn't" be doing it. What on earth? How about just walking away or finding other men to hang out with? It's just inane stupidity. And exactly what men have been doing for years and are now appropriately being held accountable. It has to work both ways - she's accountable for a sexist comment.
DrJ said:
Yup, you're right, there's just no hope for me. You really ought to then give up (please). I won't be able to hear you anyway, you're now on the ignore list. Banner morning for my ignore list. Honor the fallen. DrJ said:
I can't hear you, you're on my ignore list (blissful silence from this point forward).DrJ said:
Yet another post just dripping with ridiculous and biased assumptions I will not dignify with a response. If you knew me and my 30+ years of professional work (research, leadership) in the very spaces you’re talking about - increasing diversity and inclusion - you’d feel like an idiot - I’ll just leave it at that, you can research it if you’d like from my profileThe issues in reality are:
1) I don’t even have an Instagram account - no desire - I used to be active on social media but backed out of all of it a little over a year ago due to all the stupid assumptions and agendas such as those that make up essentially your entire set of comments here.
2) even if I did I don’t see it as my role to “educate” Neko Case and again I am confident she wouldn’t care what I think. Again had it not been posted here - clearly to provoke - I would not have commented.
done now and you too are ignored because I know there is no way you’re going to ever admit perhaps you have misread the situation and my reaction
dance_hall_keepers said:
The use of the word “dudes” is both interesting and telling.