This SHiTe Fucks

LPs are like being married to a beautiful woman that's great in bed. CDs are like having a beautiful girlfriend that's great in bed. Streaming is like having a new, beautiful woman that's great in bed, whenever you want one. No hassle, no strings attached, no commitment, no flowers, no dinners, no listening to her drone on about her problems, no monthly timeouts, no watching her gain weight, age or decline, no divorce, no in-laws, no having to endure chick flicks or television shows etc. Just one, brand new, young, beautiful woman after another, every single night, willing to do whatever you want, whenever you want, until the end of time.

If the UK (now standard) A Hard Day's Night album is the best candidate for a long-term relationship among the recorded artifacts of early Fab-o-mania, The Beatles' Second Album (in all its sizzling, reverberated, Dexterized glory) is the trashy, flashy blonde who you'd never take home to meet Mom & Dad, but who'd guarantee you a splendid time nonetheless.