Analyzing Retarded SHite Top Albums lists

forums.stevehoffman.tv/threads/top-album-of-all-time-poll.700902/

I stuck to just what was on the first page of the thread.



I'll start here with the first reply to the thread because this is just such a typical, boring, old-fart list. Sorry, Brian Wilson may be a genius and all, but it was only in the service of sappy sounding Beach Boys albums. "Astral Weeks" is one of those 'classic' albums that only an old fart can love; dreary and monotonous. "Dark Side of the Moon" is a cliche. "Physical Graffitti" would be in the running for worst Led Zeppelin album ever if there weren't five other albums vying for that title. Which leaves us with "Exile", probably the only album on this list I'll ever play again in my lifetime although surely not for the same reasons as Wild Horse.



I was waiting for this, and only had to wait until the second reply. Don't these old men ever get embarrassed fawning over their Fabbies like adolescent girls? Does their utter lack of curiosity ever bother them? Wouldn't a normal human resist saying something so dumb because it essentially admits knowing nothing about music? The fanboys were pathetic 25 years ago when they were still in their 30's...Now they are as stomach turning as a fat old man in panties and bra.



At first glance, one might be tempted to say, "now there's a real list!" It has all kinds of music on it: jazz, classical, metal, indie rock, hip-hop, punk, Beatle... But look a little closer at the choices... "Achtung Baby" is one of the greatest albums ever? The Cardigans?? Sorry, but this list is a fake. This list has nothing to do with music; it is an attempt by Gaslight to school the others on how "knowledgeable" he is. And PJ Harvey has been on a downhill slide ever since "Dry". Either he has played "A Love Supreme" only once, or half a time, or it is all he plays and nothing else. Nobody who listens to "A Love Supreme" is also going to say "Achtung Baby" is a great album.



This is a stupid list too, mostly Beatles and Elephant 6 bands. However, at least it reflects an actual musical preference, narrow-minded though it may be. The XTC albums are the key; he likes mid-60's psychedelia-lite or a reasonable facsimile. That doesn't stop him from dropping in snorefests like "The Wall" and overplayed titans Led Zeppelin, nor does it prevent him from being an old fart. Not to mention, the Elephant 6 bands were the type of indie band old farts got into to prove that they weren't old farts, even though young people knew those bands were farty.



You may not believe this, but one can tell a lot about a person by their lists of favorite albums. For example, here is a guy who is overweight, never gets laid, thinks he is a highbrow when he is a low-middlebrow... As with I Have Been Floated, SirMarc tosses in a couple of awful 00's releases to show he is with it and up-to-date, despite both being 15 years old. "Sea Change" is for old farts who think "Odelay" was too hip-hop.



Whatta douche.



Whatta 'nother douche. Another guy wearing his lack of curiosity, lack of musical knowledge, lack of self-awareness on his sleeve. Nothing newer than 1974, which makes him the fartiest old fart so far.



I wonder what this douche's problem is? What is up with this formatting? Who would write a list this way? Why would they? Too bad he had to be a dick about his list, it is the best one so far, despite the inclusion of some mediocre stuff. This is what happens when a classical music snob tries to condescend to rock music.



Well aren't you special? Same old same old...



Jesus wept. I'm stopping here at #1, no need to read farther...



Yes folks, the greatest album of all time, the pinnacle of musical achievement for all mankind is..."Tea for the Tillerman" by Cat Stevens. Where do such people come from anyway? Like most of the others, this is larded up with boring old 60's and 70's faves, sprinkled with "modern" faves by awful bands like Dream Theater and Son Volt.



Maybe the only thing dumber than a Beatard dweeb are Floyd and Zeppelin dweebs. No, wait a minute, what am I saying? Of course the Beatard dweebs are by far the worst.



One of the very few serious stabs at a real list. It's a fair list too, if you happen to be a 60-something closeted gay man who hasn't come to terms with it yet.



Sigh, I give up... Oh, and The Waterboys are like a minor-league U2 without the hooks. I know, makes you wanna run out and buy their discography, doesn't it?


I don't know what possessed me to subject myself to this today (yes, I do. I am procrastinating before doing some real work) I love it when SHites compile surveys of the "greatest albums". The end tally is almost always similar to Rolling Stone's except that most blacks, women, and artists active after 1976 are omitted. A constant regurgitation of the same tired music even yer grandpa is sick of.