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Post by Potsie Hoofman on Jan 14, 2022 19:55:29 GMT
I wonder if KlanFan ever finds it burdensome to have all the answers. One more tired boomer whose only tools are broad platitudes and an impotent disdain for anyone younger than he is. This is probably the best way that I tried to describe him but couldn't get it out. "Wise old sage" was the best I could come up with. It's tough having all the answers. And then everyone in line applauded.
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Post by cockledge on Jan 15, 2022 17:34:59 GMT
"I know the wait can be taxing...especially when you are excited to get the new stuff. Years ago I ordered a custom target rifle. The initial arrival time was a few months. The rifle arrived and something was wrong...sent back after 5 shots fired. In the end the custom shop had my rifle for over a year...a year, getting a few things fixed. Waiting until Tuesday, or even for the next week, is not a big deal other than the excitement building in your mind."
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Post by Mediocrates on Jan 23, 2022 17:18:06 GMT
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Post by Potsie Hoofman on Jan 23, 2022 18:19:24 GMT
Jesus Christ. This guy is a walking Dodge Ram commercial.
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Post by GeddyLeePierce on Jan 23, 2022 18:42:36 GMT
Jesus Christ. This guy is a walking Dodge Ram commercial. Heh heh!
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Post by Mediocrates on Jan 24, 2022 16:18:49 GMT
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Post by Mediocrates on Jan 24, 2022 16:53:30 GMT
I wish I could be this productive today.
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Post by graucho on Jan 24, 2022 17:53:52 GMT
I wonder if KlanFan ever finds it burdensome to have all the answers. One more tired boomer whose only tools are broad platitudes and an impotent disdain for anyone younger than he is. That's a really succinct summary.
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Post by sₚⲁᵣₖydₒg on Jan 24, 2022 20:44:29 GMT
Are you familiar with that stupid sanctimonious story endlessly re-posted on FB and elsewhere about an old lady "educating" a cashier about how great their generation was about recycling and the environment? This is a little something I've been working on:
Iɴ ʟɪɴᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴏᴄᴇʀʏ, ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴏsᴇ-ʀɪɴɢᴇᴅ ғᴏʀᴇɪɢɴ-ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ᴄᴀsʜɪᴇʀ sɴᴀʀʟs ᴛᴏ ᴀ ᴘɪᴛɪғᴜʟ ᴇʟᴅᴇʀʟʏ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ: "Mᴀᴅᴀᴍ, ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀʀʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ sʜᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ʙᴀɢs ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴘʟᴀsᴛɪᴄ ʙᴀɢs ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴄᴏ-ғʀɪᴇɴᴅʟʏ!"
Tʜᴇ ᴏʟᴅ ɢʀɪᴍᴀʟᴋɪɴ ғʀᴏᴡɴᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇsᴘᴏɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪɴᴅɪɢɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ:
"Iɴ ᴍʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀs ɴᴏ sᴜᴄʜ 'ɢʀᴇᴇɴ ᴡᴀᴠᴇ’. Wʜɪᴄʜ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴇᴀɴs ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴀ sᴇʀɪᴇs ᴏғ ᴛʀᴀғғɪᴄ ʟɪɢʜᴛs ɪs ᴄᴏᴏʀᴅɪɴᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴀʟʟᴏᴡ ᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴏᴜs ᴛʀᴀғғɪᴄ ғʟᴏᴡ ᴏᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴠᴇʀᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʀsᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴs. Wʜʏ I'ᴍ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴇʀᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇɴᴏᴛᴇ sᴀᴛᴀɴɪᴄ ᴇᴄᴏʟᴏɢʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇᴄʏᴄʟɪɴɢ I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏ ᴄʟᴜᴇ.
Tʜᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ-ɪᴛ-ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪʟʟᴇɴɴɪᴀʟ ʀᴏʟʟᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴇʏᴇs, sᴘᴀᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ sʜʀɪᴇᴋᴇᴅ, "Tʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ, ᴍᴀᴅᴀᴍ. Yᴏᴜʀ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴠɪʀᴏɴᴍᴇɴᴛ."
"Yᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ," ᴛʜᴇ ᴏʟᴅ ᴄʟɪᴍᴀᴛᴇ-ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴅᴇɴɪᴇʀ sɴɪᴠᴇʟᴇᴅ.
"Oᴜʀ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴠɪʀᴏɴᴍᴇɴᴛ. Gʟᴀss ʙᴏᴛᴛʟᴇs ᴏғ ᴍɪʟᴋ, sᴏᴅᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇᴇʀ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴏʀᴇ. Wᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴀᴢʏ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴏʀᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴏɴᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛɪᴄᴋᴛᴏᴄᴋs. Wᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡᴀsʜᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀʙʏ ᴅɪᴀᴘᴇʀs ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ɴᴏ ᴅɪsᴘᴏsᴀʙʟᴇ ᴏɴᴇs. Wᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴀʙᴏʀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ᴄʀɪᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇɴ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴇxᴄᴇᴘᴛ ғᴏʀ ʀᴜʙʙᴇʀs, ʙɪʀᴛʜ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ ᴡᴀs ɴᴏɴ-ᴇxɪsᴛᴇɴᴛ. Bᴜᴛ sᴏᴍᴇʜᴏᴡ ᴘᴏʟɪᴏ ᴠᴀᴄᴄɪɴᴇs ᴡᴇʀᴇɴ’ᴛ ᴀᴄᴄᴜsᴇᴅ ᴏғ ʙᴇɪɴɢ sᴏᴍᴇ sᴍᴀʀᴛʏᴘᴀɴᴛs ʟɪʙᴇʀᴀʟ ᴄᴏɴsᴘɪʀᴀᴄʏ. Sᴏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴛʜᴀᴛ...
"Wᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴀᴛᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴠɪʀᴏɴᴍᴇɴᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀʏ. Bᴀᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀʏ ᴡᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ʜᴀᴅ ᴏɴᴇ 800 ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅ TV ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴᴇ ʀᴀᴅɪᴏ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏᴜsᴇ, ɴᴏᴛ ғɪᴠᴇ TV's ᴘᴇʀ ʀᴏᴏᴍ. Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ TV, ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ʜᴀᴅ sᴇᴠᴇʀᴀʟ ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅs ᴏғ ʟᴇᴀᴅ ɪɴ ɪᴛs CRT, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀᴅɪᴏ, ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ʜᴀᴅ ᴇɴᴇʀɢʏ-sᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴇʀᴄᴜʀʏ-ʟᴀᴅᴇɴ ᴛᴜʙᴇs, ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʜᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀʀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴛɪʀᴇ ʀᴏᴏᴍ. Aɴᴅ ᴡᴇ ʙᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴏʟᴅ ᴀʟʟ-ɴᴀᴛᴜʀᴀʟ U.S.A. sᴛʀɪᴘ-ᴍɪɴᴇᴅ ᴄᴏᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴜsᴇᴅ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜғᴜʟ ᴄʟᴇᴀɴ ᴀsʙᴇsᴛᴏs ᴏɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴜᴄᴛ-ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʟᴘ sᴀᴠᴇ ᴇɴᴇʀɢʏ.
"Iɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪᴛᴄʜᴇɴ, ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙʏ ʜᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ɴᴏ ᴇʟᴇᴄᴛʀɪᴄᴀʟ ᴀᴘᴘʟɪᴀɴᴄᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴜs. Tʜᴇ sᴛᴏᴠᴇ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ. Iᴛ ᴜsᴇᴅ ɴᴀᴛᴜʀᴀʟ ɢᴀs, ᴏғ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴀɴ ᴇɴᴅʟᴇss sᴜᴘᴘʟʏ. Aɴᴅ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɪɴᴄᴀɴᴅᴇsᴄᴇɴᴛ ʟɪɢʜᴛ ʙᴜʟʙs, ᴏғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ. Lᴏᴛs ᴏғ ‘ᴇᴍ. Oʜ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴇxᴄᴇᴘᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴏᴜʀ ɢɪɢᴀɴᴛɪᴄ Kᴇʟᴠɪɴᴀᴛᴏʀ ʀᴇғʀɪɢᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀ. Aɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪxᴇʀ. Oʜ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙɪɢ ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ ʀᴏᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜɪɴɢɪᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ's ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴀ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴏɴ Tʜᴀɴᴋsɢɪᴠɪɴɢ. Aɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ Osᴛᴇʀɪᴢᴇʀ. Oʜ, ʏᴇᴀʜ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ᴏʟᴅ ᴘᴏᴘᴄᴏʀɴ ᴍᴀᴋᴇʀ. Aɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ᴇʟᴇᴄᴛʀɪᴄ ᴛᴏᴀsᴛᴇʀ. Yᴇᴀʜ, ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴏᴀsᴛᴇʀ.
"Bᴀᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴡᴇ ᴅɪᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴜsᴇ ɢᴀsᴏʟɪɴᴇ ʟᴀᴡɴ ᴍᴏᴡᴇʀs ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴡɴ, ᴡᴇ ʟᴇᴛ ɢᴏᴀᴛs ʀᴏᴀᴍ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇɪɢʜʙᴏʀʜᴏᴏᴅ ᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀss ᴀɴᴅ ᴏʟᴅ-ᴛɪᴍᴇʏ ᴛɪɴ ᴄᴀɴs, ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴛᴏᴏɴs.
Sʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴇᴅ, sᴇᴇᴍɪɴɢʟʏ ғᴏʀ ᴀɴ ᴇᴛᴇʀɴɪᴛʏ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ 20 ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡᴀɪᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ ʟɪɴᴇ, "Yᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ, ᴡᴇ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴠɪʀᴏɴᴍᴇɴᴛ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀʏs. Wᴇ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴅʀɪɴᴋ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ‘ᴡʜɪᴛᴇs-ᴏɴʟʏ’ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ғᴏᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴs ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ sᴇɢʀᴇɢᴀᴛᴇᴅ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟs ᴀɴᴅ sᴛᴏʀᴇs. I ᴛɪᴇᴅ ᴀɴ ᴏɴɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ʙᴇʟᴛ, ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴡᴀs ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʏʟᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ. Nᴏᴡ, ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇʀʀʏ ᴄᴏsᴛ ᴀ ɴɪᴄᴋᴇʟ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ᴅᴀʏs, ɴɪᴄᴋᴇʟs ʜᴀᴅ ᴘɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇs ᴏғ ʙᴜᴍʙʟᴇʙᴇᴇs ᴏɴ 'ᴇᴍ.
"Tʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀsɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴀ 'ɢʀᴇᴇɴ ᴡᴀᴠᴇ' ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀʏs - ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴡᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴅʀᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴀɴᴋs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢᴏᴛ 8 ᴍɪʟᴇs ᴘᴇʀ ɢᴀʟʟᴏɴ ᴏɴ ʟᴇᴀᴅᴇᴅ ɢᴀs, ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴏʏs ᴜsᴇᴅ ʙɪᴋᴇs ᴏʀ ᴡᴀʟᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ sᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs. I ɢᴜᴇss ɢɪʀʟs ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ғᴇɴᴅ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇᴍsᴇʟᴠᴇs sɪɴᴄᴇ ʀɪᴅɪɴɢ ᴀ ʙɪᴋᴇ ʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɪᴍᴘᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs.
"Sᴏ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ɪᴛ ᴀᴍᴀᴢɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴀʟᴋs sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ 'ᴛᴡᴇʀᴋɪɴɢ' ᴀɴᴅ 'ᴇɴᴠɪʀᴏɴᴍᴇɴᴛ' ᴀɴᴅ ‘MʏSᴘᴀᴄᴇ’, ʙᴜᴛ ɪs ᴜɴᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴏғ ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴏsᴛʀɪᴄʜᴇs ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅs ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀɴᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴅɪᴅ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴅᴀʏ!"
Nᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜɪs ʀᴀɴᴛ, sᴇɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏ 200 ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs ᴡʜᴏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ 50. Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ, Fᴀᴄᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ Jᴇsᴜs ᴡɪʟʟ ᴋɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɢ.
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Post by hoffa_nagila on Jan 24, 2022 22:56:09 GMT
And everybody clapped. When she left.
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Post by sₚⲁᵣₖydₒg on Jan 25, 2022 6:47:33 GMT
And everybody clapped. When she left. Some versions (there are many, much longer than the one I'm mocking) do have that happen after her stupid rant.
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Post by Mediocrates on Jan 25, 2022 16:56:41 GMT
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Post by sₚⲁᵣₖydₒg on Jan 25, 2022 22:28:22 GMT
Cool story, Gam-gam. You only mention yourself 40 times. Now fuck off and die.
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Post by Potsie Hoofman on Jan 25, 2022 22:57:37 GMT
I had to nap twice and eat dinner just to get through that shit.
Hey, KKKleanDan, if you read this: shut the fuck up. You don't know it all. If you feel the need to put your all important wisdom on display, do it in less than 9,000 words, you useless fuck.
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Post by Potsie Hoofman on Jan 25, 2022 22:59:54 GMT
Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! What can I get for you today?
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